No More Hormones

My doctor's office called me with the results of my last beta that I had done on Friday and the nurse said the my RE did not want me testing anymore. I asked if it was because my hcg levels could go down on their because between 8-12 weeks the placenta will start to take over. And she said, no, it's because these numbers won't tell us anything anymore. So, I simply said, okay, I won't get tested anymore. I know the numbers don't really say much as this point, but the fact that they go up means that the fetus is still alive. But whatever, the doc says don't do it so I should respect his decision and no do it. And I'm going to. I guess if the last miscarriage we had at eight weeks wasn't detected until my hormone levels dropped than it wouldn't mean so much to me to get my levels tested. We do have an appointment on Thursday and that will tell us a lot more anyway. I just need to realize that if this pregnancy is going to end as the others have in the past, that there's nothing that I can do about it and to just put my faith in God and trust the doctor. After all, why are we paying this man so much if I'm not going to trust what he says? So now we wait, like we have been. I should really pray for patience because I don't possess much of it.

Visit to the ER

Don't worry, nothing major. But yesterday I had some brown discharge (TMI, sorry) and I got a little worried and seeing as how both my RE and OB were out due to the holiday I had no choice but to go to the ER. They did an u/s and put my mind at ease. Everything looked fine. There was a little tear of some sort somewhere down below (didn't quite understand what the tech was telling me) but said it's completely normal. The little bambino now has formed it's head and nubs for arms and legs. I hope it keeps on growing. The heart rate has also went up to 175. I got my hcg levels tested again to, as I have been doing twice weekly, and those also went up. I'm all the way up to 90,000. And boy, can I tell they've gone up. The nausea is more than sinking but I don't care. As long as this pregnancy progresses as it's supposed, I'll feel sick every day if I have to. I'm still anxiously awaiting our ultrasound this coming Thursday. I hope I'll feel more at ease then and start to enjoy what's going on in my body and not worry every second of every day. Yeah right, I'll still worry, just not as much. ;)

7 weeks

So, I had another ultrasound today and so far so good. I'm measuring at 7 weeks, there about the doc says, and the heartbeat was 130. He said that he has seen many many cases and I'm text book. Everything looks perfect and as he called it, he said that we have a "take home baby". He said he would be shocked if we miscarried. I hope he's right. We've seen this all before so I hope the fertility meds, progesterone supplements and the low dose aspirin I've been taking so diligently did the trick. I hope. I pray. Please God keep the good news coming, we've tried so hard. I just commented on someone's post and I suggested to take things just one day at a time, I really should practice what I preach huh? We have another ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday. By that time we will have passed a gigantic milestone for us. So keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

5 weeks 5 days

That's how far along I am, so the doc says. We had our first ultrasound today and all is well, for now. We saw a sac and saw a heartbeat. It was way too early to actually measure the heart rate. I have another u/s scheduled for next Monday and then the Monday after that. My doc said initially that our next u/s would be two weeks from now and I kind of looked at him like, really??? And then he said, "well, if you would feel better, we can do another one next week." I took him up on that offer. I don't know why, I know that there's nothing we can do if this pregnancy decided to go belly up, but call me crazy, I feel better if I'm under as much monitoring as they will give me. There were also two rather large cysts on my left ovary as well. I don't believe the doc measured them, so they must not have been of any concern to him. I have read before that if a cyst burst while pregnant that it could cause you to miscarry. Damn Internet, I should really stop reading all this stuff. I am still not at ease about this pregnancy, we've seen a sac and seen a heartbeat what seems like so many times before. We got good news today and I am truly thankful for that. I just pray that this little heart keeps beating past the eight week hump we can never seem to jump and all the way into labor and delivery. Oh and a sweet little side note, our projected due date is my wedding anniversary, August 19th.

U/S scheduled for Monday

Well, as predicted, there was a huge snow and ice storm here last night into this morning and the roads were treacherous. We did not make it to our ultrasound appointment today. I was a little disappointed but this u/s was just to determine that this pregnancy was not ectopic, which I'm positive it's not. So, they rescheduled me for this Monday and by then too we should be able to see a heartbeat. I've included a pic of what our cars looked like this morning, they were caked with ice and still are. We haven't yet got to park in our garage because we've been working on our remodel and the garage is packed full of all sorts of stuff that was once inside the house. So that sucked but hopefully we'll be able to park in there soon because winter is definitely here.

A little breathing room

Well, I went and got another beta today and my numbers were 7513. I read the results and cried. Cried because I fully expected them to be bad. Cried because for a tiny little moment I felt better. I am in no way shape or form out of the woods but for the rest of this week I can rest a little easier knowing that I had a good increase in hormones. It is so hard on me to continue to get a beta twice a week but I do this because for some reason, I just can't stop doing it. Doesn't make much sense huh? I cannot change whatever the outcome of this pregnancy will be, but that doesn't stop me for obsessing over every little thing about it. I believe this happens only to us infertiles. Normal women who have had no problem conceiving or carrying a child, I believe, don't worry like we do. A smart person once said, "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do but it won't get you anywhere." Don't know who said it but they were so right. We have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow but we might not make it there. Were supposed to get a really bad storm tonight and we live an hour away from my RE's office. We'll see.

A little peace of mind

I just spoke to the nurse at my doctor's office and she said right away that my numbers looked good and immediately I interjected and said, "Are you sure?". "Are you looking at the right numbers???". She said they almost doubled and they had a decent jump from the last beta so she said, no, she wasn't concerned. And I asked about ectopic and she said they don't see ectopic pregnancies with a high progesterone (39.6) that I had when we first tested. So, I said "ok, if you're not concerned then I'm not concerned." A complete and blaintant lie, but I do feel slightly, and I mean slightly, better. I am still preparing for the worst as I always do and I still can't help but feel that the worst is yet to come but have not completely given up all hope just yet. Almost, but not just yet. Thank you for you kind words of encouragement. It really helps me so much. It makes tough times a little easier to get through.