Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Keeping it together
Well, I got a beta done again yesterday, it was 3090. Not a good jump from Friday's of 1694. It didn't even double. I just don't know what to think. My doctor's office doesn't open up until 9:00 so I have to wait another hour or so before I can begin stalking them. I'm on unfamiliar ground here. My beta's with our last two miscarriages that lasted eight weeks always more than doubled like they were supposed to. With the chemical pregancies none of them even made it past 1000 and with the ectopic I was in pain the whole time and new that something was happening. The beta's with that one didn't make it past 733. What the heck is happening? I'm really on the verge (?) of breaking down but I just don't know what to make of it all. I really don't think this is an ectopic because I have no pain on either side of my stomach, so hopefully that's not it. It could possibly be I suppose that there were two in there and one died or it could just mean the impending doom that I believe I'm facing yet again for the sixth time. I hope they go ahead and just order and ultrasound for today so atleast we can rule out ectopic. And I hope they order another beta even though I'm not supposed to test again until Thursday. I'm already planning my next move because if I dwell on this too long, I'll lose it. Donor eggs keep popping into my head. This sucks.