Thursday, December 18, 2008
A little breathing room
Well, I went and got another beta today and my numbers were 7513. I read the results and cried. Cried because I fully expected them to be bad. Cried because for a tiny little moment I felt better. I am in no way shape or form out of the woods but for the rest of this week I can rest a little easier knowing that I had a good increase in hormones. It is so hard on me to continue to get a beta twice a week but I do this because for some reason, I just can't stop doing it. Doesn't make much sense huh? I cannot change whatever the outcome of this pregnancy will be, but that doesn't stop me for obsessing over every little thing about it. I believe this happens only to us infertiles. Normal women who have had no problem conceiving or carrying a child, I believe, don't worry like we do. A smart person once said, "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do but it won't get you anywhere." Don't know who said it but they were so right. We have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow but we might not make it there. Were supposed to get a really bad storm tonight and we live an hour away from my RE's office. We'll see.