Welcome Randi Lyrae

Randi Lyrae Hire born August 18th, 2009 at 11:38a.m. She weighed 6 lbs 11oz and was 20 inches long. She has tons of dark hair and is just the most beautiful sight I've ever laid my eyes on. I love her so much already. I started getting contractions at 12:30a.m. the morning of the 18th and went into the hospital at 2:00a.m. They checked me right when I got there and I was at 2cm. They hooked me up to the monitors which showed that I was barely having any contractions at all. They then again checked me an hour from that and I was still at 2cm so they sent me home. As soon as I got home I started having severe back labor. Ladies, if you haven't experienced labor, it is the most excruciating pain you will ever feel in your lives. (don't want to scare you but it's indescribable pain). The contractions were less than a minute a part and were lasting over a minute with each one. I managed to stay at home for a couple hours after they discharged me for the first time but I just couldn't take it any longer. We went back to L&D and they no sooner got me hooked up to the monitors and I got checked and the nurse started moving very quickly. I asked her what I was dilated to and she said "You're at a 9, you're going to have this baby soon!" Excuse me, what???? I was freaking out. I started sobbing hysterically because I knew at that point there was no room for an epidural or pain medication of any sort. I literally thought I was going to die. I didn't know how I was going to be able to live through any more pain than I had already been experiencing. Everyone was moving very very quickly. They got me to a room, my husband managed to call my labor team in and within about 20 minutes they were all there. The doctor came in and was scrubbed and ready to go and he checked me and, a great thanks to the Lord for this one, I was really only dilated to 7cm. The nurse who checked me previously was obviously a little off. They called the anesthesiologist in and got me an epidural and after that I quickly calmed down. We arrived at the hospital for the second time at 7:00a.m. and Randi was out by 11:38a.m. The whole process seemed very very quick but I was actually in labor for about 12 hours. The pictures are mostly from when she was just minutes old. My dad, Randy is holding her in the first one. Only fitting as she was named after her Grandpa. We're so over the moon in love with this little girl. I just can't stop looking at her. I barely stayed in the hospital for 24 hours. We went in at 7:00a.m. on the 18th and were released by 1:00p.m. on the 19th (by the way, the 19th was my 3 year wedding anniversary and we couldn't have asked for a better present than what we got, our daughter). I haven't slept really but maybe 5 or 6 hours in 3 days but I just can't take my eyes off this girl. She's perfect in every way. She's the best eater and sleeper and almost never cries.

This will probably be my last post. I have gotten what I need from this blog, all your support got me through the most difficult time I had ever faced in my life. My life has started a new chapter now that I'm more than thrilled to begin. I will continue to follow your posts as I think of you girls often and want so badly for your miracles to come as I know they will. I can't thank you enough for all the support you gave me. I will continue to do the same for you. Thanks girls!!!

38 weeks

Wow, 38 weeks today. Where does the time go? It's been a little over a week that I've been on bedrest and I'm not as bored as I thought I would be. And surprisingly I thought I would be taking many naps throughout the day but I have yet to take one. What I'm doing, I'm not really sure, but something seems to be occupying my day. My appointment last Thursday went well. BP is good, urine is clear and I only gained a pound from the week before. I didn't get my cervix checked so not sure if I'm dilated any more or not. I will get checked this Thursday when I go back to the doctor though. I'm hoping she comes soon, I'm ready to see her.

Shower

Had my baby shower and it was all that I could have ever hoped for. Almost everyone invited showed up, the food was great, the presents were absolutely adorable, but most importantly, I ACTUALLY had a baby shower!!! Something at one point and time I thought would never happen. I had been working on a slide show to present at the shower recapping all of our struggles to have this little girl and let me tell you, there was not a dry eye in the place. My goal wasn't to make anyone cry but let's face it, infertility sucks and it's bound to bring many tears. But at the end of the show, they were tears of joy. The song that played during the slide show couldn't have been more appropriate. It's called 'I would die for that' by Kellie Coffey. You have to check it out. It applies to all of us infertiles. I didn't get any pictures with my camera but plenty of others did so when they send them to me I will try and post them. I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow and this little girl will then be considered full-term. Next appointment is on Thursday.

36 weeks 3 days

Well, ladies, I'm on bed rest. I've had some serious excessive swelling and rises in my blood pressure so I'm off work until this baby comes. I'm a fingertip dilated but the doc doesn't think this baby is coming any time soon. And wow, do they really have to reach up that far to check your cervix??? I swear I could feel his hand in my throat. The baby's heart rate was much higher than what it normally is and it kind of concerned me but no one else was concerned so I ate my fears. Next appointment, next Thursday. What ever am I going to do on three weeks of bed rest???? Hmmm, I'll have to get some good books to read.

36 weeks

Well, I'm still chugging along. I've decided that work is what is making me miserable these days. I get so swollen from being there, my blood pressure goes up and my back hurts from sitting in my chair at my desk all day long. And, I've been working seven days a week so I don't really get a break. My blood pressure was pretty elevated when I was at work on Saturday and my hands were swelling which hasn't been happening so I went to get checked out at the hospital. Bloodwork, and urine all came back just fine and my blood pressure was back down to normal levels before I left there. Of course, the on-call doc thought I was overreacting and I kind of wanted to smack him. He literally said that I was overreacting and I said well, I'd rather be safe than sorry. We all know, pregnant women and high blood pressure aren't a good combo. I have my 36 week appointment this Thursday and we'll see what my doctor says about taking me out of work by the end of this week. I only have this week and next left to work but I'd rather be out now. Not that I'm in any kind of pain or anything or that I'm so miserable that I can't take it, it's just that my symptoms get worse and worse each day that I'm here, so why not take off early if I can? My doctor's pretty laid back so I doubt he'll let me out earlier than I had anticipated taking off. My shower is this weekend and I have a feeling it's going to be a pretty emotional day. There was a long time there where I thought I would never make it far enough into a pregnancy to be able to have a shower. I still can't believe she's going to be here in just four weeks.
On another note, my blogger friend Stace had her babies on Sunday. I'm really excited for her. Although her twins were over twelve weeks early, they're troopers and I'm sure will come out of the NICU earlier than expected. Congrats Stace!!!

35 weeks

35 weeks down, only 5 more to go. Crazy. It's coming up so fast. I'm so excited and really quite scared too. I know I will love being a mom, I'm not scared about that. I'm quite honestly scared about the delivery. I tend to be a little bit of a hypochondriac about things so, go figure, every irrational thought is running through my head of what "could" happen but probably wouldn't in a million years. But, I know I'll get through it because, after all, women do this all the time, right??? Okay, enough about that. I've gained almost 40 pounds thus far, yuck. Hope it comes off later. And I know I haven't taken a belly pic in a while, but I don't seem that much bigger but it feels like there is literally no more room in there. My stomach feels stretched to the max. It's getting harder to breathe and her kicks and punches rather hurt sometimes. I swear she's gonna just punch her way out of there. And even though I sit at a desk all day at work, I am soooo uncomfortable and sore by the end of the day. Imagine what would happen if I had to stand all day? How do some women do it? Well, that's all I have for today.

34 weeks, 4 days

Had my 34 week appointment yesterday and we've established that I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions. I've been getting what feels like period cramps on and off for the past few days and apparently that's what contractions feel like??? Blood pressure's good, urine is clear and I gained another three pounds. We have our last two week appointment and then it's down to every week. Can't believe we only have five and a half weeks left to go. It's a little scary but I'm so ready for it. I'm getting so unbelievably uncomfortable. No position I'm in feels good, but it's par for the course.

32 weeks, 3 days

Had my last ultrasound today and everything was perfect. She weighs 4.2 pounds, she's in the 30th percentile for her weight. I'm measuring at 33 weeks, my blood pressure was a low 100/60 and no protein in my urine and probably the best part of the appointment besides seeing her again, I only gained 2.6 pounds since the last appointment. A total of 34 pounds exactly since we found out we were pregnant. I'm hoping to not go past 45 pounds, I would have liked for less but everything else has been going perfectly that weight gain really isn't important. My husband and I watched Trans.formers after the appointment and the movie was pretty good, however, theatre seats, not so comfortable when you're 32 weeks pregnant. Needless to say, after two and a half hours of sitting in those seats, I was ready to get out of there. We have another appointment in two weeks.

32 weeks

32 weeks down, only 8 more to go. I feel like I am stretched to the max. Just when I think I couldn't get any bigger, I do. Pregnancy's a pretty amazing process. Unbelievable things happen to your body. Not much to post today. Have an ultrasound on Thursday that I'm really looking forward to. Haven't had one since 22 weeks I believe. It will be neat to see how much she's grown since then. Hopefully things are right on track. I only have six weeks left of work and that's hard to believe. The company I work for pays for two weeks before your due date so I am definitely going to take them up on that. Right now I can say that I wouldn't mind working up until I have her but ask me that in six weeks and I'm sure I'll change my tune and be more than ready to take off of work. Hope everyone had a great Father's day with their dads and husbands!

31 weeks

I'm 31 weeks today and in a bit better spirits than the last time I posted. Had a rather uneventful weekend, even though my husband and I should be getting things finished for this little one's big debut. But we all know, after working all week long, who wants to spend the weekends working at home? We are such huge procrastinators when it comes to getting things around the house done, hence why we're still working on our remodel a year later. I know we still have nine weeks left until I'm due, but I feel like we have so much yet to get done. I would like to get our hospital bags packed, the diaper bag packed, scrub my house from head to toe, and completely finish the nursery, just to name a few. I would like these things done in the next few weeks to allot for any "unforeseen" occurrences, such as early labor or bed rest. I'm sure these things probably won't happen but you never know and I like to be prepared. So, we'll see if we can kick our butts into gear in the next few weeks and get my list of to-do's finished. On the pregnancy front, I'm still so very swollen but feeling fine other than that. I'm feeling her kicks and punches much more prominent now and for as much as she moves around in there, I swear she's going to be a gymnast. I'm loving it. Every time I feel her move, it gives me reassurance that she's doing ok in there.

Grouchy

I am so incredibly grouchy today. These hormones are in full force today, let me tell you. I don't know what my problem is. I bit my poor husband's face off earlier for no apparent reason. Well, I guess I was gonna be this way some time during my pregnancy, haven't really been yet, but today's a good a day as any. Had my 30 week appointment on Tuesday and everything's still looking good. I only gained four pounds in two weeks instead of six like I did last time. Still more than I would have liked, but whatever. I'm swollen bigger than a balloon at the Macy's Day Parade but my blood pressure is fine so no worries there. I'm hoping I lose twenty pounds alone in just water weight. Hey, a girl can dream can't she? Our last look at this little chica will be in two weeks for a 32 week ultrasound. After that, we'll just have to wait until she comes out, the doctor doesn't plan on doing anymore. I guess after this ultrasound I will have had seven total which is way more than most women get so I shouldn't complain. Well, ladies, I hope tomorrow is a better day. Have a great weekend!

28 weeks, 1 day

Had our 28 week appointment today which included the glucose tolerance test and I have to say that that sugary drink I've heard so much about wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was so scared I wasn't going to be able to gulp it down in the five minutes they give you to do so, but I got it down within a minute like a champ. The last couple drinks were getting pretty disgusting but it was over before I knew it. Checked the heartbeat and it was 148. Everything's looking good. There was some protein in my urine from the swelling but my blood pressure was just fine so the doc was none too concerned. Oh and then he proceeded to tell me that I'm chubby. He looked at me and said, "Um, you know you've gained 12 pounds since your last appointment?". And I said, "Are you sure?" and he said, "Well, unless there's a different way of doing math, then yes, I'm sure." 12 pounds!!!! 12 pounds!!! Ridiculous. Wait, let's talk about that some more, that's 12 pounds in 4 1/2 weeks. Wow. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now I suppose. That makes 28 pounds total. Well, enough of the weight talk. We are now up to 2 week appointments. The end is getting closer and closer. It will be here before we know it.

Stretch Marks and Swollen Ankles

I just typed a whole post and somehow erased the whole thing and I'm completed irritated about it. So, here we go again, but it's gonna be a condensed version. The first pic, I think I'm 24 weeks, can't remember when I took it. The next is a pretty crappy picture of my swollen ankles, they're much worse in real life I swear. Tomorrow marks the third trimester! 28 weeks down, only 12 more to go. I feel like we have so much left to do and we're running out of time to do it. We have to get our house completely finished from the remodel we did last summer because I can guarantee we're not going to want to do it when the baby finally comes. We just have a little trim left to do and a couple of walls that need painted but I would swear we had a whole house to do given the amount of time we're taking to finish it. We also need to scrub the house top to bottom. We're a little late on the spring cleaning. I have some new found energy but by the time I get home from work everything below my knees is so swollen I swear my skin's just going to burst open. So, I find myself coming home and just propping up my feet to get the swelling down. We have our 28 week appointment on Tuesday so I'll ask the doctor about all the swelling but I'm sure he'll just tell me to keep doing what I'm doing. As long as my blood pressure's fine, I'm sure everything will be okay. I have some shopping to do so I'll post again after our appointment. Hope everyone has a nice holiday!

27 weeks

I'm almost into the third trimester and I can't believe how fast the time seems to be going. My stomach seems to be growing bigger and bigger everyday. I think I'm going to have to buy more maternity clothes because the ones I already got are getting a little tight. I haven't taken any belly pics lately and I need to. I no longer have ankles because they are swelling so bad. They look a little bit ridiculous. This pregnancy, believe it or not, still hasn't quite sunk in with me. It's still so hard for me to believe that we are going to have a baby in just thirteen weeks. We have literally bought almost every thing that we need to get started. Bottles, diapers, wipes, carseat, you name it, we pretty much got it. It's too hard to stop myself when I start shopping. I have my 28 week appointment next Tuesday. I am not looking forward to slurping down that extremely sugary drink, but you do what you gotta do. Well, I have to go now. Got to talk my husband into getting me a banana split. Sounds so yummy right now. ;)

Movement - 25 weeks

Yesterday, my husband finally felt Ms. Randi Lyrae kicking. I've been able to see her kicks and punches now on the outside for about a week but my husband could never see it when I tried to show him. Back to the name, Randi Lyrae is what we will be naming our baby girl. Randy is my dad's name and Lyrae is my middle name. We knew, boy or girl that the first name was going to be Randy, just spelled a little differently if it was a girl. I have such a special connection with my dad and I really wanted to be able to honor him in as big of a way as I know possible. I've gained up to just about 20 pounds already and the weight just keeps coming on. I really really really hope I can lose most of it afterwards, but it's doubtful. My metabolism just isn't what it used to be, or I'm just stuffing my face more than I used to. ;) I have just fifteen weeks left to go. A little less then four months left!!! Cannot believe how fast time is flying by! We keep buying more and more stuff for this little one that she almost has everything she needs already. We've had to save some items for the baby shower though which will be after the baby is born. Well, I hope everyone had a good weekend!

It's definitely a...

Girl! Okay, not a huge surprise considering we already had a pretty good idea of the gender from our last ultrasound. But it's definitely a sweet little girl! And let me tell you, I do not know how these little babies fit in our bellies?!? She was so scrunched up and I just wonder how that could be comfortable? She weighs 1.6 ounces and her heartrate was 147. Everything looks perfect and we couldn't be happier. My husband and I bought two little summer outfits for this little chica today. We're quite excited. Once he uploads the ultrasound pics to the computer I'll post those too. The pictures this time weren't as good as our last ones because, well, as she gets bigger it's harder and harder to get good pics because there's just no room in there. I have so many pics to post, one of these days I'll get to it. My next appointment I'll be 28 weeks and they'll do the glucose testing then. I can't believe I've come this far already. Next thing I know, I'll be holding this sweet little girl in my arms! We're just overjoyed.

21 weeks 1 day

Here I am, 21 weeks and 1 day along. It's not the best pic, my husband took it. ;) It may not look that big, but trust me, it's there and I feel gigantic. Not much going on, which is always a good thing. Sleeping is so uncomfortable and breathing has proved to be a huge task. Other than that, it's not too bad. I'm counting down the days till this little one decides to make her appearance. Can't wait!

Almost halfway there

Had another ob appointment yesterday. All is well. I have gained, what I believe to be a disgusting amount of weight, but my doc didn't even mention it so it must not be that bad. The heartrate was 144 which I thought was kind of slow but they were none concerned so therefore, neither am I. We have another appointment in 4 weeks where they will do an ultrasound. I thought from my last appointment that we would have one in a couple of weeks but I'm really not worried so I'll wait as instructed. I can't believe I'm almost 20 weeks already. It's still so unbelievable. Incredible and unbelievable.

M.I.A.

Sorry, I've been a little out of the loop lately. I still read all your blogs every day though. ;) I really don't have much to report which, no news is good new, right? Well, my belly is expanding although I still find it hard to notice. I'm in full-blown maternity pants, no shirts yet, just pants. I did, however, order some maternity shirts from Old.Navy and got some good deals on them. It is my goal not to look frumpy and dishevled while preggers, let's see if I can accomplish that. I swear I'm already having trouble breathing, my ribs feel like they're going to collapse at any second. Don't know if this is normal so early in the pregnancy but I'm sure stuff is just shifting all around in there. I check on the little gal from time to time and her heartbeat's still nice and strong. We bought and assembled a crib last weekend and I've got to tell you, the whole thing is just surreal. I cannot, cannot believe that we've come to this point in our lives finally. The whole reality that, God willing, I will be bringing home a healthy beautiful baby in just five months still has not sunk in. It feels like I'm living someone else's life because it was just a short while ago that I truly thought we would never have children of our own. I don't think it's fully going to sink in until we're in the delivery room. I haven't been as nauseated which is nice, but I find myself terribly irritable all the time. Oh, sweet hormones, what would we do without them?

So, it's a.....

Girl! Or so was their educated guess at this point. It's still a little early to tell, I'm only 15 weeks and 3 days so they can't say for sure right now, but there definitely wasn't anything between those long legs of hers! The ultrasound tech let us watch our little one moving and squirming all over the place for almost a half an hour. It was such an amazing thing. I've never made it to this point in a pregnancy and it's just indescribable. All her measurements were right on track and everything looked great. We have another appointment in four weeks and an ultrasound to follow a couple weeks after that. We opted out of doing the testing for down syndrome and spina bifida because those tests give a lot of false positives and I don't want any unnecessary worries at this point. I've worried enough and don't want to add anything to the mix. I know this baby will be healthy and beautiful when she makes her appearance into this world. It's been a tough road, but we're almost half way there!

15 weeks

I don't really have much to post about. I'm 15 weeks today and am awaiting our appointment on Thursday. It seems like forever since we've had an ultrasound, really only five weeks, but it seems like a lifetime. Still no belly really, pants are sometimes tighter, but I think that's just bloat most of the time. On another note, a close friend of mine asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, of course I said yes. But, the wedding is Sept 12th, I'm due August 19th, I'm still gonna look all preggers when the wedding rolls around. But I figure, if she doesn't mind then I don't mind. Maybe all the weight will come off right away???? Not likely, I don't think I'll be one of those women who can fit back into their regular jeans a week after delivery. You never know. So, I think we're going to find out the gender. I didn't really want to but I don't think I can stop myself from asking. They just might be able to tell at this appointment. Either way, it obviously doesn't matter, I'm just chomping at the bit to buy all these cute clothes I've always walked right past before. Well, until Thursday...

Back to See the Nurse

Well, yesterday I had such terrible lower back pain and I called the nurse at my doc's office and she said to come in b/c they wanted to make sure it wasn't a UTI or anything of that nature. As I was waiting in really terrible pain for the results from the urine test she let me listen to the heartbeat again. 164 and he/she was just moving all around. Well, the test came back and no infection just really dehydrated and I was sent home. They said I could take some tylenol and apply a low heat for just a few minutes every hour. So nothing too eventful, just some aches and pains as to be expected. I really think it's my sleeping habits. Before pregnancy I always slept on my stomach, now I'm afraid I'm going to squish the baby so side sleeping it is. And as I've read, it's best to sleep on your left side so I try to sleep on that side the most. Doesn't always work out that way, but I try. Last night I wedged a pillow on each side of me and that seemed to help. Pretty soon I'm going to have to kick my husband out of the bed, because I'm even more comfortable when I have room to spread out. Thank goodness we have extra rooms! :)

2nd Trimester

Welcome Second Trimester! That's right, 13 weeks today. I can't believe it. Well, let's talk about what the books say about the second trimester. They say by this time you will have renewed energy, that morning sickness basically diminishes and that pretty much all the rest of your pregnancy symptoms go pretty much unnoticeable. That's a generalization categorizing every women into the same group. But as we all know, we're not the same. I am still plagued with pretty much debilitating nausea, although, I have gotten moments throughout the day now where it subsides. It's still very much real though and very much kicks my butt. That's really my only qualm, but it's a big one. I'm not very tired anymore, although mid-day naps are never unwelcomed, my breasts aren't sore, and oh yeah, I still have to pee pretty much every hour, day or night. I do have more energy than I have been having and that's nice, hoping I get more and more each day. Now back to this nagging nausea, when I stopped in to my doctor's office last Friday I asked about taking some nausea medicine as needed. My specialist denied me this such medicine but my OB says it's perfectly safe to take. We believe the specialist advised me not to take it so that if we miscarried that we could rule out the fact the the nausea medicine had absolutely nothing to do with it. Now that I'm out of the first trimester, if needed, (which it is) I can take the medicine should I so desire. Well, I had a lot of errands to run this Saturday and felt so pukey I almost didn't do them, so I took a pill. It really didn't help much and only resulted in a headache. So whether I'll be taking this medication is really up in the air, I guess if it doesn't help much then why take it?
On to bigger and better things. I rented a doppler online and haven't been able to locate the heartbeat with it until yesterday. I found it immediately upon turning the machine on and it was as strong and beautiful as it has been. I still really have no belly to speak of, although my jeans are feeling rather snug around the mid-section and I find that if I leave them unbuttoned that I'm much more comfortable. Our next ultrasound is in three weeks and I can't wait. By that time it will have been six weeks since we last saw this little bean.

Thankful

I stopped by my doctor's office today to see the nurse and see if she would use the doppler today so I could listen to the heartbeat. The nurse is so, so sweet. Right away, she led me back, no questions asked and a minute later we were listening to this little one's sweet heart beat. Still 160's and still music to my ears. I really wasn't concerned anything was wrong, but just wanted some more reassurance. I'm going to try and refrain from going back until my next appointment in three weeks, but I can't make any promises. ;) I think we're getting to the point in the pregnancy where I can start to relax.
I am so thankful for the blessings we've been given. Though I am pregnant, I do not forget where I have been and what I have been through to get to this point. I still consider myself part of the Infertile World and will probably still feel the that way until we take this baby home. You never forget, the pain never goes away, it just starts to hurt a little less. My heart still aches for each and every one of you who is still struggling. I hope that reading stories of encouragement helps you to keep fighting for what we all so desperately want, I know it did for me.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me. - Philip. 4:13

Can I just say....

That I hate pap smears!!! They are so completely uncomfortable and I'm bleeding now from it and even though I know where that blood is coming from it still makes me worry. Yes, I'm crazy I know. I've always cramped bad too when I get a pap and today was no different. Oh well, gotta do what you got to do. This was my second OB today and aside from the uncomfortable exam, everything looked good. We listened to the heartbeat and it was 160 something. He just took a guess apparently. As long as it's there and it's strong, the rate doesn't really matter. I keep saying this but I'm getting less and less worried with each visit. We have another appointment in four weeks and they're going to do an ultrasound then. They normally wouldn't but I think he's appeasing me. I thought we'd be going back every two weeks as the nurse said last visit but we really don't have anything wrong with us so every two weeks is a little much I suppose. The first trimester is almost coming to a close. I never thought I'd make it this far but I have and I'm overwhelmed with happiness. Never give up.

1st OB

Well, kind of our first OB appointment. It was just the nurse's appointment where they go over what to expect in the next coming months. I've seen the nurse before and everyone there has always been really nice to us and very sensitive to our situation. She did the doppler for me today and we heard the beautiful heartbeat, 174. Couldn't be better, helped ease my worries for one more day. We have another appointment with an actual doctor on Thursday where they'll do a pap and all the rest of the good stuff. They drew blood for my OB panel and took a urine analysis for protein and they're testing my progesterone again to make sure I can stop the supplements. The nurse said the doc would probably want to see me every two weeks the duration of my pregnancy just because of all the trouble we've had previously. I won't mind going, keeping a close eye on things makes me feel that much better. We've been so blessed so far and I pray the blessings keep coming. Thinking of all of you too!

Every Day

Let me preface this post that what you are about to read is in absolutely no way a complaint. I feel that I must share what I'm going through not just emotionally as I have been, but physically. Since about 6 1/2 weeks I have been completely nauseated. This nausea doesn't come just in the morning as many people like to refer to it, but it's an all day, can't get a minute of relief, nausea. I have not yet thrown up but I feel it is fast approaching. I gag repeatedly throughout the day, either from certain smells, when I blow my nose, when I got to the bathroom, after I take my pills, when my husband's cooking dinner, gag, gag, gag. I am one of those people who refuse to puke no matter what. If I'd just get it done and over with I just might feel a little better perhaps. When we found out we were pregnant I was drinking at least 64 ounces of liquids a day and now I find it hard to slurp down 40. I don't eat much, the typical staples to "curing" nausea such as crackers, ginger ale and the like, do not work in the least bit. I even bought those Preggie Pops that are supposed to help and sure enough, they don't. I have even worn those motion sickness bracelets that are supposed to work by use of pressure points and guess what, those don't work either. I so want my belly to be growing and my pants to no longer fit but that hasn't happened just yet, I swear my belly's getting rounder but it's probably all in my head. My boobs aren't as sore but as one thing goes away another one comes, constipation. I am truly uncomfortable when I sleep. I find it so easy to fall asleep as soon as I get home from work for a nap but when it's time to turn in for the night all I do is toss and turn (thought the restless sleep came later?). My husband has been so wonderful through everything. He has taken care of all the household duties, dishes, laundry, cleaning, the trash (that's always been his), grocery shopping and anything else that needs done he does. I am undeniably, certifiably, blissfully miserable and honest to God, I couldn't be happier. I say a prayer Every Day that this little one, just months from now, will make it in my arms. And if he/she so feels the need to make it's mom to be completely and utterly sick the rest of my pregnancy then so it will be. I'll take this baby any way I can get her, sick or not sick.

So happy

Our ultrasound today went off without a hitch. Everything was perfect. The heartbeat, the size, everything. We saw so much movement, I swear, it was doing jumping jacks in there. It was absolutely the neatest thing I have ever seen. It now has fingers and toes and just looks beautiful. I cannot even begin to tell you how nervous I have been lately. With each ultrasound my worries cease little by little. I am so very grateful that these past few weeks have brought us nothing but joy and good news. I did not want to leave my RE's office. They have been so great through this whole process and I would love for them to be a part of the end result. This is all almost too good to be true, but I am taking it as it comes. I am so happy, still concerned as I believe anyone in our shoes would be, but so very happy. It's so overwhelming to think that after such a very long hard road that our prayers are finally going to be answered. I pray that the good news keeps coming and I continue to pray for all of you too. Thanks for the support as always.

Anxiously Awaiting

Our last appointment with the RE before he releases us to the OB is tomorrow morning. It has been eleven days since our last ultrasound and it's been so hard waiting to go back. Every little thing that goes on in my body freaks me out and makes me think that there is something wrong. I've still been feeling sick but for the past couple of days I haven't been feeling as sick. And my stomach keeps mildly cramping for just a couple minutes at a time, which I read, is just the muscles in the uterus stretching but my mind wanders and makes me think if it could possibly be something else. I guess my worries will never cease until the delivery and then I'll find something else to worry about I suppose. I am such a Negative Nancy at times but the road of infertility has left me shattered and my confidence broken. I have been praying really, really, really hard that tomorrow at the ultrasound that we will see the little one's heart just beating away. I'm just really nervous. Say your prayers for us.

A sigh of relief

I am currently 8 weeks and 3 days along. We had an ultrasound today and the heartbeat is still going strong. We have made it passed the 8 week hump that we could never seem to get past. I breathed a huge sigh of relief once I saw the little heart thumping away. We even got to see some movement, it was moving around it's little nub of an arm. I am more confident that this pregnancy is going to make it. We are, by far, not out of the woods, but well on our way. We have one more appointment with the RE before he releases us to the OB on the 19th. I'm going to be chomping at the bit until then, but this appointment has helped to ease my mind because through five pregnancies previous, we have never made it past eight weeks. Keep the prayers and well wishes coming. Your support has made this process a little easier to go through. Thank you.

No More Hormones

My doctor's office called me with the results of my last beta that I had done on Friday and the nurse said the my RE did not want me testing anymore. I asked if it was because my hcg levels could go down on their because between 8-12 weeks the placenta will start to take over. And she said, no, it's because these numbers won't tell us anything anymore. So, I simply said, okay, I won't get tested anymore. I know the numbers don't really say much as this point, but the fact that they go up means that the fetus is still alive. But whatever, the doc says don't do it so I should respect his decision and no do it. And I'm going to. I guess if the last miscarriage we had at eight weeks wasn't detected until my hormone levels dropped than it wouldn't mean so much to me to get my levels tested. We do have an appointment on Thursday and that will tell us a lot more anyway. I just need to realize that if this pregnancy is going to end as the others have in the past, that there's nothing that I can do about it and to just put my faith in God and trust the doctor. After all, why are we paying this man so much if I'm not going to trust what he says? So now we wait, like we have been. I should really pray for patience because I don't possess much of it.

Visit to the ER

Don't worry, nothing major. But yesterday I had some brown discharge (TMI, sorry) and I got a little worried and seeing as how both my RE and OB were out due to the holiday I had no choice but to go to the ER. They did an u/s and put my mind at ease. Everything looked fine. There was a little tear of some sort somewhere down below (didn't quite understand what the tech was telling me) but said it's completely normal. The little bambino now has formed it's head and nubs for arms and legs. I hope it keeps on growing. The heart rate has also went up to 175. I got my hcg levels tested again to, as I have been doing twice weekly, and those also went up. I'm all the way up to 90,000. And boy, can I tell they've gone up. The nausea is more than sinking but I don't care. As long as this pregnancy progresses as it's supposed, I'll feel sick every day if I have to. I'm still anxiously awaiting our ultrasound this coming Thursday. I hope I'll feel more at ease then and start to enjoy what's going on in my body and not worry every second of every day. Yeah right, I'll still worry, just not as much. ;)